A Shining Star

Just a few quick updates before a very hectic weekend.

First, my sister took pictures at the Virginia is For Lovers 14K that I had the chance to upload:

A family affair.

Cupid gave us runners quite a show; and left us in his dust.

Our lil' one was the star of the day.

She gave it her all and collapsed at the end!

So we are about to leave for Obama's current hometown to take Miss Runner Extraordinaire to her next big volleyball tournament. It's a big one... three days of competition and 16 teams from the east coast in her division. Yesterday I was consumed with all of the preparations involved for a three day event like this. I was completely freaking out. Somewhere in my house (or maybe elsewhere for all I know) is a black hole for important garments and items. Where in the world does she put this stuff? Spandex, practice shirts, socks, kneepads... she loses something almost every day. Does she undress on the street and stuff the crap in the garbage? I literally TORE the house APART looking for things. Under beds, behind the dryer, inside every bag she owns... the kid is one big hot mess. Then again, she's only 10 years old.

As I was driving to work yesterday I thought about my daughter so much. How when I look at her I am often looking in a mirror and seeing a reflection of myself at that age. She may look more like her daddy but she is me in almost every other way. Shy, withdrawn, afraid to say what she thinks out loud. So afraid to take the risk of being boisterous and bold. A shrinking violet in a field of screaming daisies.

How much of us is innate and how much is created by the environment around us? I always believed that I had no confidence as a child because of the influences around me. My mother, always well intended I'm sure, constantly reminded me of what I wasn't. I know she couldn't help it; she was raised in such a manner. Hard core, "that is not good enough," "that's not the way I would have done it."

So when I see that look I know so well on my daughter's face I wonder about the influences around her. As hard as I try, I'm sure a little of the mothering skills I observed as a child are seeping in. I have high expectations, but I am sensitive to the fact that we are unique and it's okay.

So when you see your child struggle with her confidence around her peers... how do you intervene? Stand back and let nature take it's course or try to head it off at the pass? The answer seems so simple yet it isn't. The control freak in me wants to fix this right now, but I know better. I can only fix myself and hope in time... that whatever she believes in her mind, she is happy and confident.

Off to watch our little star shine this weekend...